Even Now
by FallAway
Summary: Logan. Lilly. She was way more experienced than him and he was practically choking on his own saliva. Oneshot.


Summary: Logan. Lilly. She was way more experienced than him and he was practically choking on his own saliva. Oneshot.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Promise.

Challenge: Sinking into your queen sized heaven; I'm begging you to stay

A/N: I argued with this challenge for a very long time. I did; seriously. And then when I finally got an idea, it totally ran away with me and turned into something completely different than I had originally intended. So I'm just going to blame Hider for giving me the challenge in the first place and move on with my life.

By the way: reviews are love.

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He didn't use to be a badass. He didn't use to fuck faceless girls at parties just for the sake of feeling something; didn't use to stand on bridge railings where his mother died just months before and drink himself into a blurry stupor.

He didn't use to spend his time pining for Veronica Mars.

No, not little Veronica: before her there was another; Veronica's best friend. (It kind of makes him sick when he thinks about just how fucked their "relationship" really is.) And she was full of life in every way imaginable, breezing through every second of time as though she owned the world and always would. He thinks it's somewhat funny that she still brings life to his world when she's dead.

But he's always been a fan of irony.

And if Lilly were real; if she was still alive and gracing his world with the (fucked-up) light that she did when they were together, he knows that she would be mocking him. How he could be naïve enough to think that he could do this, really jump off the Coronado and end it all…

"_Shut _up_, Logan, don't be such a drama queen," she chastised, giggling as she tugged him into her bedroom._

"_Lilly…" he sighed and let her lead him, pulling her to him when the door was shut._

_She placed the palm of her hand over his mouth and shook her head, smiling playfully. "Shh," she grinned. "They're not here. Even if they were," she continued, clasping his ear between her teeth, "I wouldn't care."_

_He shivered_

and teetered on the railing slightly, grasping his flask tightly in his right hand. He should hate her for invading his thoughts right now. He should be mentally calculating the number of guys she cheated on him with, counting the amount of times that she dumped him for no reason.

Hell, he should be wondering how much it's going to hurt when he finally flies over the edge and crashes into the fucking ocean. But instead,

_Logan fumbled with the button on her jeans and mentally kicked himself. Virgin or no, he was smoother than this. He was more confident than shy touches and shaking hands. Then again, she was way more experienced than him and he was practically choking on his own saliva from the sensations she was sending through him._

_Lilly sighed in her assault on his neck and pulled back, shoving him toward the bed and smiling when he bounced on the mattress slightly._

"_Calm down, lover," she rolled her eyes and climbed onto the bed with him. "I'm not making you jump off a bridge," she laughed brightly and straddled him, trailing a fingertip down his stomach. "Relax."_

_He nodded slightly and_

closed his eyes, taking another swig from his flask. He doesn't remember what the contents are anymore, doesn't really care so long as it burns when it slides down his throat. It's a little numb at this point but that doesn't really matter, either. All he knows is that he's really fucking tired of thinking about

"_Lilly," he groaned, pushing his hips up into hers when she grazed her teeth across his nipple. She laughed against his skin and he shivered, fisting the covers when her tongue swerved against his skin._

"_Patience," she whispered, placing an open-mouthed kiss just above his belly button, "Is a virtue," and another, "Mr. Echolls."_

_His eyes rolled back in his head when her wandering fingers found their way inside his boxers and he flopped back on the pillows with another groan._

He giggles hopelessly when he tips the flask upside down, flicking his wrist at random and watching the tiny sprays of alcohol as they disappear into the air below him. He feels himself slipping

_further into oblivion and Lilly smiled above him, wide blue eyes shining with amusement and lust. "I think you've been patient long enough," she smiled again and dipped down to capture his mouth in another kiss while she lowered herself onto him, grinning into his mouth at the appreciative shudder that rolled through his body._

The tell-tale roar of a motorcycle sufficiently stifles his urge to scream into the night about how much of a bitch she was, how much he hated her for leaving him

_lying there in her bed while she wandered downstairs to find something that would make things a little more … interesting. Logan sighed heavily and sunk further into her bed, her queen sized heaven, and closed his eyes._

_Bye, bye, innocence._

He hears himself speaking before he knows what the words are. "What do you think you can do to me?"

Weevil shrugs a little and gives him an uninterested look. "I'll think of

_something to get you re-energized," she giggled and kissed his forehead, sitting next to him on the mattress. He opened one eye and peered up at her, smiling a little and tugging her down to him._

_Lilly frowned playfully and lay down next to him. Logan pushed a hand through her hair and brought his lips to hers, fighting the overwhelming urge to beg her to stay there with him._

When Weevil punches him he's only grateful that her image fades into the pain.

--End--


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